Sunday, December 26, 2010

Petition to ban the song Christmas Shoes...

Ok, not really, I just thought I would get a nice size audience either jumping for joy at the thought, or others ready to defend that ridiculous song. Come on, its terribly sad and written for the sole purpose of making you want to make everyone listen to it and cry with you as if it will change their life. My first thought (blame it on living in the ghetto and hearing one too many sob stories for money...or a car), is the boy probably is lying. The store clerk has obviously caught on as he wouldn't just let the boy have the shoes.
Anyway, now that I have you...
As my first Christmas as a mom slowly settles in to the long term memory, self reflection makes its way to my watery eyes. A new year is coming...hand in hand with milestones, tears, laughter, and exciting life events. This Christmas was different. And not just because there were tiny hands holding mine. This Christmas, I finally got Mary's side. Well, kinda (this was no virgin birth of a Savior, however Mawie HAS compared Charlee to Jesus).
In the parking lot, on the way to deliver the Angel Tree gifts, I listened to Silent Night. And I cried. I closed my eyes and I thought of how scared I was the night I went in to labor. Calling the doctor, driving to the comfy hospital, hearing the deafening beep on the monitors, Brandon reminding me to breath as he held his breath...I can picture it perfectly. I can't even imagine getting ready to birth God's son and having nothing more to offer then a smelly stable and bed of hay for him to sleep. How humbling. How marvelous. And hearing that song, I connected with Mary in a way I could never understand until becoming a mother myself. For me, April 26th was holy. It was the loudest silence I will ever experience and the craziest calm I'll ever know. I try to wrap my mind around seeing Jesus's chest rising and falling and knowing that my body formed the unimaginable love of a God who needed to be near us.
These past few months have been pretty rough for me. I can usually find the bright side (it's the right side). I try to be a Positive Patty. But lately I have let life's meaningless mean something. And that just isn't who I care to be. So, 2011, I will just go ahead and warn you about a few things. These aren't resolutions, these are determinations.
*My clothes will fit again.
*My clothes will fit again because I will run a half marathon with Team Challenge in June.
*I will run a half marathon because I will relearn to care about myself and my health.
*I will care about myself and my health because I have little eyes that needs to learn to care about herself and "love the skin she's in".
*Those little eyes will look into the eyes of 2 parents doing everything they can to raise her the way God intends for her to grow.
*Those two parents doing everything they can to raise her right will raise themselves up to the challenge of doing the right thing, loving each other, and growing the way God wants them to grow.
*Charlee will learn by example.
2011, let's go.

2 comments:

  1. i love it!! and you know you always have a training buddy for the 1/2 marathon! love you!

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