As soon as they started screaming terrible things at the officers and I became uncomfortable, I wanted to turn it off. I desperately searched for the mute button through muggy eyes. And then a thought came to me. Just because you turn off the sound, doesn't mean they didn't say it. Just because you stop the video doesn't mean it didn't happen.
I can shake my head and make my own assumptions about what did or didn't happen in these cases with law enforcement. I can cry out for love for both sides. I can shake my head at the brutality of police or I can think my own thoughts about the looters using tragedy to break the law. I can shed pretty little tears and write blogs with nice big thoughts. Then I close my computer and have sweet dreams. I wake up and my life is just as I left it.
I come with my own quiet struggles. Ones for friends and support groups to hear out and nod encouragingly. I'm no stranger to pain I didn't inflict on myself and even some that I personally picked out. A beautiful little mess colored in yellow and hot pink. But I will never quite understand what some of my fellow Americans will face each day simply because of their skin. Their beautiful skin.
Tonight, though. Tonight I made myself watch injustice. Tonight I felt the pain of two sides colliding with such force, I literally cried out.
My love must not judge. My place is not to condemn. My role is nothing but a Christ follower, broken for this suffocating evil that spews hate. I plead for justice to be served. I pray for all the families affected by this.
So I will say...if you post a video to your wall that supports your thoughts on what did or did not happen, ask yourself why. Do you want others to know where you stand? Why? We have a generation that thinks everyone wants to know every little thought. Every stance. The problem? No one takes action. Hey, if you think the police were just doing their job...you think that. You go to bed and thank God for police that keep you safe. But don't stop there. Go tell them thank you. Join the community action committee. Work together with the police to keep your neighborhood safe by getting out and MEETING PEOPLE. Meet the people you silently judge.
If you see what happened in these two cases and you are appalled at the unexplainable brutality, protest. By all means. I will stand with you and pray and cry out for lives that shouldn't have been lost. But also, how about going down to the police station and asking how you can work together? What does yelling hate solve? I just don't get it. Call for change and help make it. Situations aren't changed with anger. They are changed with action.
I don't understand what African Americans go through. I can't. I'm just some little white girl that smiles and waives to everyone in hopes they feel loved. We can't undo what has already been done. However, we have the ability to work together to create change. Lasting real change. That is something I could really get behind. That is something I want to teach my children.